I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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