There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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