i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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