you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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