is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
