Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
