If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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