I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
