you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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