i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
