The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
