As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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