i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
