Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
