At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize