I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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