y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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