And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
