I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
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ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
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I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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