Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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