I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
