none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
