Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.