we're blogging at a bar
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???