I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
