Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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