Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
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Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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