wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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