I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
