Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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