Sry I called you an 8
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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