she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
