Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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