OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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