if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I need water and some morals
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
