Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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