Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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