we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I think pants incapable of making pants work
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
