You don't have asthma, your pregnant
she was so not down for the gang bang
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
