Only a mothe r could love this liver
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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