The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Randomize
