I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
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The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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