my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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