And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I would fuck him just for his dog
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
