I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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