Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
