How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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