Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
