it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
