Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
