Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
