k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You've changed since you got that strap on
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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