I cockslap morals
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
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