So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
