dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
