Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
After tacos, we're chasing women.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
