I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
